Keegan's Corner
Tonight I bring you the "Ranting of a Madman", as opposed to the slightly less blasphemous "Ramblings of a Madman". The reason for which, is that news of yet another takeover bid has now fantastically "failed", as we (Newcastle United fans) mostly feared.
That being said, it's just one side who have publicly made that statement and it's the same side that was publicly saying how all was going or going to go to plan...
So here we are, 90% certain it's off now instead of 50/50 (percent). Yet, we find ourselves traipsing through the doldrums of social media to see what the so-called Tom, Dick and Harry's whom are "in the know" say. Guess what, it's still not definitive...
No doubt the much-maligned, self-assigned, martyr of Manchester (United) - Miguel "Shan" Delaney is now pissing himself at the prospect of Champions League football, as one of the many comparative minnows fail in their desperate attempts to do away with their dickhead owner.
No doubt those like Luke Edwards will begin their tirade of how he was right and others were wrong, and how they're idiots for ever thinking any different.
No doubt that come tomorrow morning, each recognisable newspaper (but a few) will be claiming that they knew this would happen and it was the inevitable, or maybe that the Saudi's were rightly dismissed - as the PR arm of Mike Ashley's tedious ownership once again reaches out to touch the eyes and ears of a disenchanted customer base. For this is the only communication he knows - via those whom are willing to perpetuate the myth that we are somewhat delusional for having this twat as our temporary custodian. Just as he did on "that" televised edition some 4 or 5 years ago now.
...and people wonder why I hate them robbing bastards (Sky).
So all aboard the gravy train that feeds the Scudamore's of the 'sporting world' with half a million quid off each team - all going to some prick that's contributed to ruining the beautiful game. Fucking fantastic. All whilst teams aren't willing to put that towards a loan signing or the facilities.
Sky may have saved the game some 30(ish) years ago and put the investment in it that it needed to really make it prosper but it's on the verge of destroying it now. Them and the other benefactors - whilst thousands upon thousands of football fans remain out of pocket and screwed over, travelling hundreds of miles to the arse end of neewhere for a poxy 8th vs 9th relegation battle on a shitty Wednesday neet where you cannot even get hyem.
The league is keen to ensure they have their big 5 or 6 these days (oh how nice it's extended beyond 4 now) and then the other 14 either clutch at straws, get a somewhat unique blend for a season or simply strike lucky for a year to finish top of the relegation fight. What fantastic entertainment! Just tonight I sat with 3 lifelong friends on Zoom - not just of my life, but of my auld mans, and we discussed what match-day now means to us. We don't discuss the line up pre-match anymore, we barely discuss the game after because we're all so fed up of the apathy, and not a joyous song or silence is collectively enjoyed in support of our team anymore. It's all just bland. An expensive obligation that ensures we all see each other.
All the while, we have fucking bell ends like Kieron Dyer (thick as mince), Graeme Souness (bitter auld prick) and the Micah Richards if this world (who obviously hadn't watched us all season) try and tell us their expert advice on what we've watched for a full season, some of us for a lifetime, not just when these fucking charlatans were managing our club, playing for our club, or simply had fuck all to do with us.
So not only is TV killing the beautiful game, it's killing the opportunity for people who want a life in football punditry, commentary or presenting from having an opportunity to speak as they find rather than speak based on their biases towards certain managers, teams or owners. It's always good to have pro's on there, of course it is, but they should be forced to do their homework like anyone else.
Why is this all relevant you may ask?
It's relevant because this...this is the state of the 'beautiful' game now. Fans treat with contempt and at an expensive price.
This brings me to COVID-19 and games behind closed doors. Sure, from my fat arse at hyem watching with crowd sounds was better than not in the end, but watching without - it was interesting to hear the players too. I often find myself shouting instructions that the players are, or should, given my experiences at Sunday League level. Yet, the fake crowd noise was such a distant enjoyment from the sporadic nature of a crowd and how it plays it's role in the 'beautiful game'. So frankly, stick your block- sized banners, your stand-sized signs and coordinated-crowd-noises where the sun doesn't shine. It's just another way to clear the path for long-standing, match-going fans to be fucked about again.
Then finally, on the list of things that I want to whinge and whine aboot is the main trigger for this article - this ridiculous bloody takeover.
If ever there was a silver lining, it's that a murderous regime with a terrible human rights record isn't taking us over. Didn't expect that did ya?
Yet, the distinct feeling of disappointment, of distrust in everyone involved and of being cheated surpasses any of the relief that, that may bring - and that's just touching the surface. As you can probably tell - I'm friggin' furious about the outcome.
So we have 3 sets of pricks in this takeover: One is the prick we know (Ashley), two is the pricks we suspect (the Premier League) and three is the pricks who will satisfy us fannies that are whining on. Yet, if we were to ask Joe "I don't care about football" Blogg they'd tell you the Saudi's are the ones who'd treat you worst. How wrong they'd be in this instance.
We've grown to expect contempt from that fat fuck in charge - I need not list his negligence here (I need to keep my mojo), but to be treat with such contempt by a governing body of the game (albeit not the ultimate one) is nothing short of disgraceful. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that the Premier League (whilst adhering to NDA's, etc.) could have comfortably communicated a progress report of where we were at, where we expected to be soon and when. Instead, nothing - in fact, worse than nothing - suggesting that the media and fans alike were after some form of unreasonable and never ending status update and absolute clarity. Believe it or not you absolute fucking moron's, it's the people that feed your product. Football clubs that are supported by fans, fans that buy merchandise, that buy tickets, that buy TV subscriptions and buy from your sponsors. So show some empathy and at least let people understand that you're not just being deceitful or condescending. If you had any bollocks or simply professionalism, you'd have set a deadline and said "this is what needs done" and "this is when it needs to be done by. Comply or fail." Simple as that. So what exactly has the issue been?
If the leagues' members have voted, or expressed a notion that they don't want this to happen, then really that's of no surprise is it?! If it were Everton or Leeds, or someone we'd be the same, the sad fact of all of this is that it's no longer a question of locality or morality, it's what can be pumped in financially and inevitably that means who has the biggest knobhead owning their club? Let's face it, most of the bastards have done shit to be where they are - and we're stuck with the Victorian sweatshop owner. It's been a case of "if you cannot beat 'em, join 'em" and who better to "join 'em" with than some of the richest folk on the planet.
People may question the morality of Newcastle United fans throughout this whole debacle, but where the fuck are they when the good people of our own country are being fucked over by Mike "The Leech" Ashley? Fact of the matter is that we care about what we can control - this is our club, we'll take a stand when it's being fucked over - or at least so I thought...
Nonetheless, if governments and United Nations cannot sanction alleged murderous regimes then how the fuck can I, Customer Service Representative or Killingworth? Knobs.
Difference being with these owners, a lot of these new folk have actually developed clubs infrastructure and facilities as well as pumped money into the first team squad - whilst our vulture picks away at the flesh of our club and leaves nothing but the bare bones - an ongoing process that seemingly now won't stop anytime soon. Just more stagnation and backwards peddling to ultimate oblivion just like those from down the road. Our owner is now bored, he's sick and that's that. Premier League survival the immortal motto of an ambition-less regime. One day we might be as screwed as the SMB's and have our own Netflix series.
So much for your fit and proper owners tests and any management of the members in your club. Arse holes.
Above all else, it's only ever the same people who will ultimately be effected by this. Earlier this week I tweeted from my personal account about how I felt people were abusing the use of terminology related to mental illness with regards to the takeover. I still stand by that (albeit not as vociferously as I maybe did originally). However, I share the feeling with those who fairly questioned my stance, the stark reality is that this is not just a vehicle to drag your country into a more liberal world, this is not just meaty roadkill for you to peck and pull away at until you've had your fill, and this is not just another member for you to fuck about and fill up your Premier League club with.
Just like with any club (even the mackems), this is people's hobby, their passion, their go-to-place for a release or for a break, the place where people scrape about for their last few quid to ensure they can spend 90 minutes with their pals in the stands, their community, their people, their city. So show them all a bit more fucking respect. They just want the best for their people.
Make no qualms about it - football without fans is nothing. So for us, our city is Newcastle upon Tyne, and whilst we're here...
Ciao for now 😫
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