#26 - Just Rambling...

A Pillar To Post...(Or Maybe Many)

It's been just little under 2 months since the last blog, and unsurprisingly, Newcastle United haven't stopped the self-harm. They've simply become more battered, more Bruced and more likely to entirely capitulate. Laugh at the SMBs aal you like about their Pizza cup 🍕, but they could be serving up a better dish than us next season...

But we divn't wanna discuss that! ⚽...

It's been an even smaller amount under 2 weeks since the Meghan and Harry interview, and beyond 2 days in the modern world means that the story is not just old, but archived, and then cultivated ready for the next wave of chaos that the modern world seems intent upon creating.

So which camp are you in? I guess is the question that people online would immediately ask. Inevitably.

They're (as collectives) all being arseholes. So that finishes that discussion 😅. Next topic...

But in all seriousness. They are. Just to varying degrees. In a cyber-world that cannot decide if it needs more robust boundaries or if it needs none - the common-sense-fence-sitters find themselves having to either climb great walls or sit on floors, preventing decent views from being had or shared. So I'll sit on this post, as it's the closest thing I can find to a fence.

To be clear and concise, I am somewhat of a Royalist; and already I have a sense of apprehensive discomfort as some of those, if not most, who are likely to read this blog sit back and read that sentence, thinking "ah here we gan..."

Wey, stick with it...

If I were to build a nation from scratch, I'd not have a royal family, as the time for kings and queens has passed.

However, I am a Royalist in that I believe there is no need to change what we have, in terms of structure. Other than maybe cutting it back and reducing it down to a more manageable size. Time to get rid of the dead wood, the hangers on, and most importantly - the worst of the worst - the nonce. I hold the view that once Prince Philip hits his major milestone of 100 years old, and the Queen hits her Platinum Jubilee in 2022, it's time to abdicate, enjoy life and pass on the reigns to William, bypassing Charles, and subsequently pulling the Royal family into the modern world.👑

They probably bring more in than they cost economically (?), and the royal family also acts as a somewhat unifying voice, away from the politicians who are simply dividing and conquering our country. I think that's probably a strong enough argument, based on the current political shambles.

Anyways, I digress. The interview - I guess it really centred around two key topics; the issues of racism and mental health. Neither of which should be taken lightly, especially by an institution that represents a nation, let alone a commonwealth. A commonwealth that has consisted of many different races and ethnicities.

The racism debate was once again sparked as Meghan claimed conversations had centred around what colour skin the baby would have. To my eyes, that's a fairly normal, inquisitive question. I have an Italian girlfriend who is darker skinned than that of myself. I'd not be offended, and more importantly - nor would she, if say my Grandma asked what colour the skin would be, depending on the context in which it was asked, of course. 

Frankly though, does it really bloody matter what colour skin a baby has?! Just like it doesn't matter what colour hair it has, or eyes. What matters is that it's healthy and she's not been shagging the butler on the side (Naughty Jeeves!). But nonetheless, similar questions would be asked about the hair or the eyes. Would there be this uproar if people asked if he'd be ginger?

So immediately, this issue becomes murky because of the lack of context, and it becomes a case of who you want to believe. However, what we can be certain of is that it's naive at best, and bigoted at worst for anyone in such an institute to make such comments, given the desire and ambition to move towards a more equal world. So whoever said it is being an arsehole to a degree which is dependent on the actual context of the conversation(s).

Likewise, the lack of mental health support for Meghan in such an institute is ignorant and completely baffling given the way the family as a whole have been hounded since Diana's demise. How she cannot have found support from within the institution or otherwise is beyond me. Perhaps she was advised not to seek it given the way the media are though? Again, more context needed.

So advisors, or the institution itself, are being arseholes. 👎

It's possible for anyone to have suicidal thoughts, if they're facing a time of mental weakness, and especially if they're being bullied on a scale of worldwide press coverage. That's for certain. Had it not been for the tabloids, then maybe she'd have been alreet within herself and not required assistance. Had the tabloids not been so vitriolic then maybe the institute could not live in fear of the repercussions of finding such help. Perhaps there were more sinister reasons...

To be honest, I'm a broken record at times on this blog. There's generally a common theme to most my posts, as you've probably realised (if you've lasted this lang!). The media are just absolute whoppers really. The biggest hypocrites of all. Dodgy second-hand car salesmen (and women!) out to screw over anyone to make a quick buck.

An example of this is no other than Piers Morgan from Goad Morning Britain.

Throughout COVID in particular and this governments shambolic running of the country, he has done well to press issues with MP's that even Tory voters want answers on. He's shown up the party for it's inadequate, rudderless tenure. He's there to create a stir, to gain viewers, to create discussion and that, he does. He made his take on the interview - each to their own, he's entitled to that, but he's paid to do so with some degree of decorum and articulation, and that's what was ultimately missing on his outburst. His storming off was childish when faced with the same adversity he places others under. This fella, who's been sat on a moral pedestal for however long despite printing falsified images of our own soldiers fighting in Iraq. Blokes a tit.

Undoubtedly, in all of this, the tabloids have been the biggest of arseholes. Spitting their poisonous venom onto our papers and screens.🐍 They've contributed massively to this devolving situation and a modern day royal crisis. Who wins? That's right, the media. Yet for all, I think there's been bell-endery on display by a whole host of pricks, Meghan isn't absolved from blame herself, for me. I cannot help but feel the wool is being pulled over poor Harry's eyes somewhat.

If they wanted to get away from titles and duties, away from those wankers in the press, to go and do their own thing and live a somewhat normal life, then they cannot then complain as the royal perks get pulled away. Nor can they complain about being in the media eye, and then go on one of the leading talk-shows on the planet to air dirty laundry and call out a royal institution. I wouldn't go on Twitter to tell the world of issues within my family irrespective of whether people gave a shit about them.

You cannot tell me for one second that this lass knew nothing of the British Royal family, it's history and it's duties. That's why this interview doesn't sit well with me. The credibility is diminished by the air of 'naivety' that she claims to have. It's either an outright lie, or pig-fucking-ignorant in itself. If you can see that most people nowadays at least do a quick social media check on a potential partner then you wouldn't have to look far for a British prince. Even if she thought they were just a celebrity family (which to some degree they are) then surely, you'd check why. I find it incredible, that she just bumped into a fella and they hit it off and before she knew it, she was a royal princess of one of the world's leading nations (or at least it was). It's not fucking Disney hinnie. 👸

Then finally, as this filters out into the public eye, we have those anti-royalists on social media, trying to make out the Queen is some form of Nazi, or by contrast that Meghan is just, well... you can imagine... both horrendously stupid takes.

Next, a story whereby a young woman (Sarah Everard) was sadly murdered, and seemingly by a copper. "Sadly" not even fitting for such a catastrophe. This is a story I know very little about, in all honesty. However, the social media aftermath of this poor lasses demise is absolutely lifting: Charvers saying all pigs are the same? Ye remember that when some little divvy from the next road up pinches yi bairns bike at knife point, who do yi caal then? 🚔

More apparent on my Twitter timeline was women coming out and claiming all men are the same?! Errr - I think not pet', if we were aal the same there'd be nee women left. Then gadgies liking and sharing? Eh? Is that an admittance that we are? I don't get it. This desperation to validate claims we don't even experience or understand or simply aren't right. Of course we're not all the fucking same. These types of lazy generalisations are the same ones we're trying to escape! Live life, be free (if you can), without inaccurately generalising others. 

That's what I ultimately don't get - the desire that some appear to have - that the only type of equality is that of equal persecution. It isn't my fault tjat the ancestors of my nation may have historically persecuted women, blacks, gays or anyone else. Nor would I accept it. So why am I seemingly judged on it? I don't blame German colleagues for the holocaust?

We must strive towards the right type of equality, as it doesn't yet exist and nor will it be achieved in this way.

I mean, even some feminists cannot put their finger on what women should and shouldn't do, what they can and cannot do, what they feel men force upon women either subliminally or otherwise. If a lass is scantily dressed some will say it's because they feel they have to for men to like them, whilst others say it's to empower themselves. Just dee what yi's want man, most normal lads don't care. Just don't put us in with that tiny minority of fucking nut-jobs who murder people.

This same story also brought about protests which were effectively shut down by the police, in the same week or two as Rangers' fans paraded about when they won the title (I'd be the same), the same year or so as Liverpool and Leeds' fans did similar without much contest. Yet women, take a bit of a battering for their protest, and later that week the government attempts to pass bills where they essentially prevent any kind of protest. Peaceful or otherwise.

It's no wonder women feel aggrieved when a government that they should be protected by (as should men) seemingly knee-jerk to protect the bad eggs in it's ranks upon a woman's murder. So aye, an end to peaceful protest, all whilst most the nation, ironically, cannot go out to protest it because of a global pandemic. Power to the people, ay? ✊

I cannot help but feel that, social media since Brexit, COVID, Black Lives Matter, general elections, lockdowns, protests, nonces, murders and royal debacles has proven to me that a freedom of speech and more importantly, a balance, in cyber-society does not exist, and nor do people want to achieve it. Whether it be the ignorant, bigoted and aggressive right, or the over-zealous, illiberal liberals.

Perhaps there is only no mans land and not middle ground for common sense?

I guess, above all else, what several issues over the last 2 or 3 years have told me is to simply come away from Tw@er and only use Facebook for mundane or personal things. So Tw@er is now off my phone. Facebook is for photo's of me hot dog sarnies, the smiley face I've made with me 🍔 and 🍟 or nice pictures of the family and friends.

Ultimately, the only people that matter are the ones you like and respect. You don't always have to agree, you just have to discuss, and so this is my rambling, that will probably only reach those that really matter, as I sit on a cyber-post awaiting the cyber-fence to be reset.

Ciao for now

😉

#25 - Battered and Bruced

2021, and despite the last edition of The RoaM, the message of New Beginnings hasn't quite reached all the targets I'd have liked. If only Mike Ashley, Lee Charnley or Steve Bruce read the blog now and then...

How's that for delusional?

Upon writing that opening paragraph, the hypocrisy wasn't lost on me that maybe, I should swallow the bitter pill that was self-prescribed last time, and also give these guys a fresh or a clean start. Then January the 3rd arrived. Leicester at home, and a clash between two clubs who offer up very different depictions of a game that is supposedly 'beautiful'. If this was a battle between the good and the bad, then what was yet to come would certainly be the ugly.

Leicester City - a club no bigger than Newcastle United, in fact, quite the opposite. A lesser following, a smaller stadium and a club with historically, less success. Yet, here I found myself pre-match, hoping for a single point. How unrealistic of me, and many a mag who shared this hope.

Hope?

Well actually, it wasn't that. It was the blind faith and loyalty to a club that represented me as a proud Geordie for around 26 of my 31 years of life. A faith and loyalty that this time is being very stretched, but is still unlikely to break.

The goals went in. 2-nil down, and the inevitable defeat was now looming. The only thing that could further compound misery, would be a goal from Ayoze Perez, one of the best pound for pound signings of the modern, NUFC era. A friend of mine called him 'traitorous' in a recent discussion, but as I said then, "perhaps what was really traitorous, was that our club wasn't matching the ambition of both him, and the fans".

How dare Newcastle fans suggest that their club be well run, like that of Leicester, Southampton or Wolves! Clubs that our current custodians identify as ones with which we cannot compete, and nor will we attempt to.

The Foxes, sly and undetected in their Premier League winning season, the true notion of sport and sporting achievement. "Anything is possible", a message which many a parent will tell their child, as they "reach for the stars" and "dream big". "You can be anything you want to be", unless you're a Newcastle fan, in which case, know your alleged place in English football. The black hole of mediocrity that ignores factual information, a desire to overcome the odds and above all else is devoid of hope. A black hole generated by the mainstream media, whom pull out the so-called stars of the game for their supposed "expert views" all the while, pushing knowledgeable fans of the majority of clubs deeper into the abyss. Suffocated by the status quo that both the broadcasters and the "big" clubs have self fabricated, and yet, they're largely ill-educated arse wipes seeking final pay days. As if the multi-million pound careers they had weren't enough... 

In fact, dare I say it you'd find a more accurate assessment of NUFC on this very blog (see here, or here). Although, I suppose it's no coincidence that, the same media who come out with their pro-Ashley spin whenever the protest screw is turned, have produced a prophecy which has proven to be Steve Bruce's only job to fulfil. Mediocrity. It wouldn't surprise me if there'd been a little persuasion as to what the media's mantra would be regarding NUFC. Anything to protect Mike and place expendable pawns back in the firing line and yet we're treat to Steve Bruce: "one of our own".

Not quite - One of the pawns. That'd be reet. Oh how those in the media have short memories.

"Newcastle United fans just want 11 Geordies and Geordie manager"

How wrong could they be?!

I wonder if they remember fans chanting how Pavel was a Geordie, how Jonas was our superhero or how Coloccini could shag our (fictional) wives? Of course, if that wasn't obvious enough there was the small matter of a world class manager arriving on our shores.

(I kna you're sick of seeing it, but I'm ganna have to gan there.)

Rafa was (and is) "one of us". Why? Because he wasn't an ignorant prick, fascinated by his predecessors. Instead, he knew holding the fans was holding the key, as it is at any club. I don't think Rafa ever once came out and criticised the fans, and nor did he ever potentially need to. He did his research, he had a plan and he implemented it.

A plan that put into place a clear structure for everyone contributing underneath him, that identified the clubs weaknesses and offered solutions of how to improve the business model, as well as a football club. A plan to invest in the academy and facilities, and create a cycle whereby players could be brought through to improve the side and then either kept or sold,  (most likely the latter) as the club consolidated and progressed at a sustainable rate.  Surely this would suit Mike 'The Money' Ashley? Benitez made sure each and every man had discipline and above all else, respect. Respect for the black and white, respect for the club, but above all else respect for the fans and the community for which they're paid to represent.

By contrast, Bruce almost immediately came out criticising sections of the support and backed an owner whom the fans universally hated. I guess Mike must be canny if he's ganna spunk £40m on a player who as a forward (winger? Take your pick...) would manage 4 (yes, four!) competitive goals in his first season. But no - Steve is a fan, he's from Waalsend, we have to back him cause he's a Geordie. Aye, wey, that's aal well and good until he started showing total disregard for what had gone before and began firing shots at fans who've poured a far higher percentage of their hard earned time and money into following the club than him.

Just to clarify, the net spend for Rafa Benitez in his time here was approximately £10m and Steve Bruce has thus far spent £100.25m with only two significant losses to his squad before his tenure (source: www.nufc.com).

We aal kna why he got the job (and the money!), cause nee gaffa worth his salt would come here to work under that odious twat in Ashley, after Rafa was allowed to walk. Rafa was allowed to walk because he wasn't the pawn Ashley needed. Instead, Mike was fast becoming Harold II - out in no mans land, with willing archers at the ready, bows in hand and Benitez providing the arrows. So obviously rather than gan even more medieval and like a guillotine, give him the chop, he saved himself the scrutiny and grief and had it spun that greedy Rafa left for the cash alone. Haddaway and shite man.

Can you imagine if Benitez was given the cash Bruce has had, to build on top of what he, himself built?! We'd not be languishing in mid-to-bottom of the table, sleepwalking into yet another relegation fight, that's for certain. And actually, we'd have a better business model...

You tell me how a downturn of 10k season tickets, equating to around £5m can be good for business, excluding the pies and pints that around 1k of those would likely buy on a fortnightly basis (guestimate)...

That brings us nicely to entertainment value, and some relatively quick-fire myth- busting. Steve Bruce's 'more attacking' brand of football that he promised last year resulted in 4 less goals scored than that of the year before. Likewise, we shipped an additional 10 goals in defence and finally, finishing on a point less than the season before. Yet, we weren't stagnating and progress was being made?

So let's bring it into this season, as I write in anticipation of a tough away fixture at Aston Villa...😣

Steve Bruce is currently doing such a fantastic job that, Sheffield United, who'd won one league game all season (16 games) managed to beat us, with us having a mere 3 shots on target. 3 from our 54 tally that sees us 18th in the table on this front. Shots alone is even worse, where our 154 tally sees us rock bottom.

So what about our build up and possessional play?

Newcastle are 19th for passes completed and 3rd for long passes, which suggests a defensive and direct style of play with little possession and a midfield that is seemingly bypassed.

So presumably our strength is our defensive rigidity, just like under Rafa (joint 7th for GA), or maybe not...Newcastle are 18th for clean sheets, 16th for goals conceded and 2nd for saves made. The latter making us defensively sound according to Alan Smith... 😣

...and now to pause as I witness Watkins wandering into our box to put us on our way for a winless run of 10...

Funny how all these facts and figures are all conveniently ignored by everyone other than the admirable Jake Humphrey, club legend Alan Shearer and a handful of others.

I mean, it's one thing for fans to compare and contrast, mixing emotions with statistics and sometimes shooting wide of the mark, but when the media continue to ignore facts and figures it's clear there's an agenda at play, whether that be protecting a pal or gaining clicks, it doesn't really matter. Don't be in punditry or journalism if you're not willing to report with accuracy or validity.

Then if the facts weren't enough, centre-half Steve goes on the defensive at every media opportunity: Being sarcastic about the previous, popular manager ("the mighty Rafa") isn't a good way I prolong your stay, Steve.

Nor is mixing your messages about the clubs entrenched desire to simply exist in the Premier League by telling fans earlier in the season that the target is top 10 before you realise you're falling wide of the mark.

Likewise, nor is hanging out your players to dry publicly.

Likewise, nor is claiming we'll begin to do things your way 18months into your tenure.

The list will go on...

But Steve Bruce is right about one thing, he wasn't wanted. He wasn't then, but despite people begrudgingly backing him, he certainly isn't now, and that's not because he's fucking shite, but it is because he's absolutely full of shite.

 "How's the bacon, did you say?" 🐽

Well if bacon was your tenure Brucey lad, it was never cooked, the packet was opened after the sell by and now needs binned.

#BruceOut #AshleyOut

Ciao for now 😉

#24 - New Beginnings

 A Pillar To Post

A very merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! Let's hope it's a good one, without any tears!

Spreading festive joy from the wonderful world of a shite online blog, that gives one persons point of view at any one given time. 😅 I was dreaming of a White (Russian) Christmas whilst I began this post, listening to the usual chorus of Christmas songs as I brought you this - the last piece of 2020, but I dozed off and decided to call it a night at around 02:00 on Christmas Day morning. It turns out the Kahlua didn't give me the energy hit it might have done! 

So where do we start? What a year!...

(It's probably taken you 12 months to read the other 23 articles...😅)

2020 - the year that began with the cremation of a beloved Grandfather, and (almost) ends sitting in front of a virtual fire that plays via the Playstation. The irony...it'd just dawned on me...honest. So I promised mesel I'd keep this relatively short and sweet, something for yi all to contemplatebefore you're comatosed with yi turkey...yi fat bastards,😂...

(Too late - editing came on Boxing Day!)

...And so on that note I think I'd best get to me points.

Who doesn't think it's been a fairly shite year?! I mean, what with the 'rona, Brexit and racism - it's not been a one to remember for the reet reasons really, has it?! Au contraire - stick a pin in 2020 and let it be a constant reminder as the year of the 'reset'.

What selfish, self-centered, ignorant pricks we had become (and some still are). But, I think the 'rona has taught us something, or it should have done. Is getting a 4th pack of Andrex really that bloody important?! Seeing your struggling 80 year old neighbour at her door once a week for a minute clap is. I mean, alreet, it got tedious, and many might argue "so what" but it's all part of addressing a larger problem. We'd  lost our way a little bit - certainly in the more densely populated, urban areas. I'd like to think the virus has brought communities back together and replaced arguing about meaningless shite with thinking of others and not just wuhsels.

A year has whizzed by and it feels like nowt has happened. It's scary really. Maybe I'm just getting aulder. Never mind, here wu are...Christmas. Again. So quick - you haven't seen anyone aal year, rush oot and spend aal that money you've saved on meaningless shite to quantify how much those you surround yourself by matter to you...we aal dee it, myself included. The joys of Americanism (or capitalism?), I think.

Divvint worry, I'm not gonna get on me soap box...

For me though, the notion of giving gifts at Christmas should be kept simple and sincere, especially in adulthood. Sorry pet, looks like you're getting that iron we needed... 😂

As for the bairns, well, isn't it just fantastic?! The magic of Christmas is a treasure to parents, family and friends alike. Whilst not going overboard, and turning them into spoiled brats, having Santa treat them once a year and see the delight on their faces is perhaps a greater gift to any adult than any Lynx Africa set or novelty socks. That's not to say I'm not grateful for all I've received though. It's just that time and happy memories are the most precious of gifts.⌚ 

Christmas is a sticking point for me and it has been for while. I feel I'm one of the less hypocritical of hyprocites at this time. How many people even acknowledge it's aboot the 'birth' of the 'Son of God'?! It's lost all meaning - from people buying 4 year olds Iphones to charvas putting up inflatable Santas in their garden to increase their social status; just two examples. But who am I to judge?!

Most societies, if not all, are based on religious ideology and the belief in higher powers. Most religions pave a way of peaceful life, despite what warped versions occasionally spring out in society and cause diversity and in some cases, war. However, what difference in any ideology doesn't? Our most tribal and inate instincts will likely always get the better of us on occasion, because ultimately, we're animals.

In recent days I've spent some time watching one best friend put himself 'out there' on a potentially global scale. A devout Christian who builds his life around the word of God, and it serves him well. A perfect Gentleman, leading a peaceful and promising life, and it got me thinking - religion - it's not as culty as it always seems to us Atheist or Agnostic folk.

Furthermore, it got me thinking - what does the nativity story and really teach us and mean? And so, I'm going to do my best to apply the actual Christmas story to 2020, and well...life.

In the face of adversity, the Virgin Mary found a safe haven for her son to be born and in doing so, brought joy to her life and the life of all whom they knew. A sign that, maybe, aside from biblical miracles, perserverence through the hard times can eventually lead to the joys that life brings. So, just think of the restrictions and isolation we've all faced. Whilst it's not life threatening, it's not ideal, is it? Especially for one's mental health. Especially if living alone. But there's always someone else who's less fortunate, and in a worse-off position. It's important to keep perspective, but you don't have to pop oot bairns to do it. 😅

Think of the 3 wise men. I'd like to think I was a wise man, but frankly too many Brown Ales and stupid mistakes make up a patchwork quilt of life that isn't quite perfect, or wise. The best kind? 😆 But joking aside, the 'wise' men allegedly set off on a tiresome journey and were somewhat misguided - following a natural phenomenon rather than fixed landmarks to reach their end destination - but follow they did, and with all their heart. For the 'Son of God' was about to be born. In doing so, they bore the fruits of their labour and witnessed the miracle that was the birth of Mary's child. The messiah. A message that conveys that if you follow your heart you'll often find happiness.

There are probably many more to be made, but the most obvious is that the birth of Christ is symbolic of a new beginning, and hence the title of this edition of the Ramblings of a Madman.

Admittedly, I'm, somewhat of a cynic - I don't believe in higher powers. Messiahs...maybe...of sorts. Keegan. Robson. Shearer. But you don't have to be a man of God, Vishnu or Allah to be a man of peace and good-will. Like any good story - there are lessons to be learned, and so this story isn't any different irrespective of race or religion.

The birth of a child, any child, is sewing of the seeds of hope, progression and positivity; messages which are important for us to carry into 2021. And whilst I believe each day has the same meaning as the last, this stake that is planted in our collective calendar provides a good opportunity for cleaning a slate clear. With Welfare, health and politics all in very questionable and pivotal periods, maybe it's time to come together, and create a world with less hinderence and hostility?

As always, it's easy to say these things, but difficult to implement the respective actions required. Fortunately, I can say I've cut out a lot of the negativity that was beginning to engulf my life by successfully managing to change jobs; escaping negative people, in a negative setting, with null prospects. It became very obvious to me that I was wasting my time and effort where it wasn't beneficial or more importantly, valued. That change has seemingly been better for all effected by it. Then, my partner bought a new pup, a little Frenchie who we named Gio, after an ex-work colleague and friend. The dog was 8 weeks old and is now around 3 and a half months. With patience and hard work, he's now well trained and a welcome new addition to our family. Another new beginning. 🐾

So I guess the point I'm making, is that, just like the fire marked the end of hurt and pain for a much loved Grandad, it burns like the desire you have to enjoy the gift of life, and it brings warmth and comfort on this cold and frosty evening. A sign that sometimes we must persevere. 🔥

It sometimes takes us a backward step to move forward. Use this Christmas and new year to take a positive look at what you can change, progress things even if it is only in your own life, and like a wise man (or woman), bare the fruits of your labour in 2021.

That's enough philosophical waffle - peace and love, nil desperandum, ciao for now.

😉

#23 - Cut Bruce Loose!

A Take From A Fellow Taty...

It’s probably something I haven’t gotten over since it was announced, but it staggers me to this day that Steve Bruce is manager of Newcastle United Football Club. 

That name (the club, not Bruce) used to resonate around the footballing world. Now, it’s nothing more than a bottom half laughing stock, there to make up the numbers. Constantly pissing off its supporters and an easy topic for the washed up pundits to attract callers to bite to the fucking bollocks they spout. They don’t mean a word they say, but they say it anyway as when people ring in and bitch about it, it keeps them in a job. 

A League Cup quarter final defeat to Championship side Brentford, a team who made SIX changes to their regular eleven, managed to better us all over the park and deservedly take their place in the Semi-Finals. They are a very good side, they are striving to better themselves. Everything a football club should do. 

This is apparently Steve Bruce’s dream job, he’s a staunch Newcastle United fan apparently. Don’t make me fucking laugh. 

He doesn’t fucking get it, he never will. He lives in a completely different world to those that know what it means to be a Newcastle United fan. 

It got that bad against Brentford that I was willing us NOT to equalise. As it’s just his luck if we did. He deserves this defeat and deserves the stick coming his way. He has belittled us during his time at other clubs and has belittled us many times since his arrival. He has received backing of idiotic pundits nationwide and finally, the truth is coming out for all to see. 

He is a dreadful coach. We can’t even do the basics, how many throw-ins outside their box end up back at our keeper? How many misplaced passes? The lack of movement is staggering. These young lads need coaching, they need an idea of how to win a football game, or least take some sort of control. We are constantly second best all over the pitch. 

Don’t get me wrong, the standard of our playing squad is average, but it could be used effectively to the extent that it beats lower league second strings. 

Bruce is way out of his depth in this modern Premier League. How managers like him continue to get jobs in the supposed best league in the world is staggering and highlights the amount of irresponsible owners there are in football. 

Mike Ashley is the issue here. Bruce won’t be sacked just yet - they’ll never learn their lesson. Mike Ashley is gambling on the club being sold whilst neglecting the progress of the club. We need an idea as to what the future will hold if/when this takeover is officially dead in the water. 

My hatred for Mike Ashley knows no end, I despise him. He’s ruined the one thing I love outside of my family and continues to hire fucking chancers to keep it operating. 

In the mean time, as we wait for Ashley to fuck off, Bruce has to go. He is completely oblivious to the problems he is causing. Talking about hoping to win when going into a game against a Championship side, as if they are fucking Real Madrid. 

If he was a fan, he’d walk. If he’s in it for himself and is playing on the ‘local lad’ bollocks as we suspect he is, then he’ll hang around and continue to be useless, provide no hope to the young lads in the squad and blame everyone else but himself. 

Ashley Out. Bruce Out.

Anonymous

#22 - A Time to Remember

A Pillar To Post

How apt and how fitting that today, on Sunday 8th November - the closest Sunday to Remembrance Day (on November 11th), we acknowledge the demise of another dangerous and divisive dictatorship, in  what was Donald Trump's memorable time as POTUS. Now, we all live in hope that the successors of another great nation - The United States of America, can reinstate a feeling of collectiveness, as the name of such a nation would suggest.

Such division, and over-zealous nationalism - especially in times of economic downturn, are often the most significant route causes of war, and large scale war at that. A battle for survival, from the most affluent curved corners of an oval office, to the rubble and sand of blown up cities in the Middle East, perhaps 'intelligence' isn't enough to separate us from all of the other animals.

Inevitably, the subject of war is entwined with that of politics, and so it is reasonable to understand why, for example, people may not wish to wear a poppy. The history of our nation isn't clean, it is bloodied, like that of many empires - from the Roman's to the Persian - the Mongol's to the Dutch.

In my very first edition I discussed Freedom of Speech and how we must use it more wisely and as we now live in an era where things aren't just whispered to those within your immediate physical reach, but instead are fired out of the cannon of correspondence onto social media. Words nowadays are capable of being spun into barbed wire web, like that which lined the trenches or the sands of Normandy, where so many died for such a right, and therefore, it is perhaps the most important time in mankind's history that we become more intelligent to the use of speech, and it's connotations.

And this issue somewhat applies to the use of the poppy. Over-zealous nationalists will claim it as a badge of Britishness, and subsequently many refrain from it's use - so to not be seen as one of 'those' people. Yet, both are in the minority, as we collectively come together to remember how those protected this immensely important right. A freedom to express ones' self freely, so long as it doesn't incite hatred.

There will be those who actively supported 'Black Lives Matter', who protested for progress and now choose not to adorn a poppy, nor will they respect it's true notion, who will speak of this nations' historical failings that both proceed and succeed the actions of the second world war, but ultimately, this right to protest has been protected and given to you by the death of many men & women - but most significantly, kids. Teenagers who gave their tomorrow for our today.

And so on a day like today, it is imperative that we remember the fallen.

On my fathers side of the family, we lost Able Seaman Thomas Heron onboard HMS Boadicea during the second world war, when we achieved Victory in Europe. His loss just one of millions in what was arguably histories' largest lesson, and so it has rightly been engrained on me just what his sacrifice meant. A victory for mankind, not just the allied forces. A victory won by those of many colours, creeds, races and religions, and so the remembrance poppy does not signify the lost soldiers of one nation, but those who fought against an abhorrent ideology.

Where would we be without these people?

And therefore, despite the above, I'd be lying if I said days like today don't make me proud to be British, or English. Contrary to what many will have you believe, we live in a fantastic part of the world, especially in Newcastle upon Tyne. Where the people are friendly, and most just expect you to be a decent human being irrespective of your background.

A place where despite lockdown, I believe we truly embrace being free. So come 11 o'clock, I will be remembering why I can celebrate this notion.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

Ciao for now ✌

#21 - Faith and Humanity

A Pillar To Post

Image courtesy of Euronews

No, it's not a mistake - I know - normally it's "faith in humanity", but at present it feels like that's been flushed into an ever-growing ocean of discontent. A planet that's warming at a rate of knots, and where the cooling ice no longer serves as a buffer to humanities mistakes.

Believe it or not, this isn't a piece on global warming. Sorry Sir David.

But funnily enough, for those of you who've watched his latest piece on Netflix, Mr Attenborough - whom the vast majority of the country treasure, lays it out for us all to see. 

This planet is everyone's problem.

Image courtesy of Popbuzz

So whilst we cringe and cry as polar bears drown in baron iceless lands and walruses topple from overpopulated cliff edges, maybe we should not just look at how we pollute the planet with our use of greenhouse gases and non-renewable energy sources, but also how we pollute the world with divisiveness and hatred.

No, this is my tree to hug - leave me alone whilst I continue.

So where do I start? After all, there's a lot to cover...

Ironically, I'll start by being divisive - and with the press conference announcing details of the second UK lockdown. I'm a hypocrite, I kna, but aren't we all? The difference being, that this hypocrisy isn't dangerous. The Ramblings of a Madman on an online blog, adding to the 'fake news', the mainstream media and the echo chambers of social media. Even still, I sit here typing with my hair brushed, ready to address my audience, and (this time!), on time and not late to the presentation.

An obligation not afforded by 'our' very own 'leader'.

Now, I'm not the type to bring you all the facts and figures, frankly because I cannot be arsed to forage through the frantic world of information, but what I will give you is an opinion.

I've worked in half-a-dozen office based jobs, and not once through my professional career have I ever considered turning up late to my own meeting, looking a mess and with a presentation that hasn't been sense-checked. Yet, somehow, this is acceptable for the leaders of our nation. To elaborate:

1) Boris' hair was a mess (as always!)

2) It started later than later than late it was that late

3) The slide show didn't fit the screen being presented on

4) Said slide show couldn't be progressed without saying "next slide"

5) The analysis of the data claimed the North-East was plateauing rather than dropping

6) The North-East was used both separately and with Yorkshire on separate slides, before Yorkshire somehow made an alliance with Humberside on subsequent slides

Image courtesy of the Shields Gazette

Now this may be a mixture of major and minor issues, or maybe you consider them all to be minor (issues), but what I see is a lack of professionalism and reliability, which leads me to question the validity and indeed the level of respect. And these are just the things I seen whilst having a shave!

A microcosm of the issues under this political regime: Ever-changing goal posts, lack of clarity and the constant murmurings of absolute waffle as our supposedly lovable BoJo remains consistent in one thing - playing our inept bozo.

His failure to address the short-Cummings of his right hand man (😏), were probably the pivotal point in this whole charade - one rule for some and another rule for others. And so the whirlwind of discontent began, and now continues, slowly gathering pace as it unwinds this, the most un-governing of governments.

Johnson could have reached a mutual agreement in that very instance, behind closed doors and had his counterpart resign, saving face for not only the man in question but also his party. Instead, he opted to back him and offered the nation a chance to distrust both him and his party.

So as £10billion is rumoured to be put aside for track and trace systems and applications that seemingly don't work as planned, and small businesses continue to be sealed shut for the foreseeable, you tell me why Ben from Barnsley, Mohamed from the Midlands or Lakeesha from Liverpool should listen to the latest legislation from this lot of arseholes? Whilst their (theoretical) small businesses go under and the muddied waters of "who can do what" continue to wash over an uneven playing field.

How apt to be writing this on a Sunday morning...

I figured Boris would focus on the economic elements of the virus and Corbyn on the health and welfare side, but surprisingly the fence-sitting that Johnson accused Jezza of on Brexit, is the exact inaction that Johnson has taken on COVID. However, one thing I've maintained throughout this absolute shit-show, is that we don't know what our alternative leadership would have brought. We don't know about the production of masks, the full constraints on the NHS, or many of us - what we would have done.

Of course we can all now have our say in retrospect - but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

What has happened, is that the pendulum of COVID has now swung back in favour of healthcare, but I suspect only temporarily, especially as the likes of Andy Burnham question what financial care package will be provided to Greater Manchester.

Oh what a horrible man, trying to look after his people!

Seriously though, what do people expect?! If Johnson is going to look after his own, why shouldn't we all?!

If a shepherd is directionless then so will his sheep be, despite what the sheep dogs of control try to enforce. Subsequently, the country continues to stumble and tumble towards the next hurdle. Inevitably, for most this is a financial one. A matter of where will my next pay cheque come from, or my latest universal credit?

In rolls "The Great Debait" (😏) with Marcus Rashford and hungry school kids.

Image courtesy of The Guardian

In a time when footballers are so heavily criticised for their responsibility (or lack of) towards being a good role-model for bairns, who can possibly deny Mr Rashford of being just that. Sure, his wages alone would feed many-a-bairn, but that is ultimately not the right, long-term solution. Mind, nor is supplying people with a free ticket out, where they don't deserve it.

However, who's to blame? Not the kids - surely!

Free, or funded school meals should definitely be provided to those bairns that need it. They should be managed by the education system, and should ensure that they can continue to teach motivated pupils, paving them a path to a better life. Likewise, food banks and/or local businesses should continue to assist the surging amount of families that have no other option. After all, who knows when those currently more privileged may fall upon the same desperate needs.

On the other hand, what we must be weary of is the minority of arseholes that get this universal credit and spend it on their own tabs, drink or drugs instead of their prime responsibilities. Why should smack head Ted who's never contributed fuck all get a free meal before jobless Jim who's spent his whole life contributing to a somewhat socialist system of taxation?

Funny though isn't it - how this is the discussion point and not the billionaire owners of big business whom avoid fair and representative taxation?

Nonetheless, the subject of poverty and economic downturn is an increasingly alarming one. We all know what happens in times of economic downturn, and when someone like Donald Trump is likely (in my opinion) to be re-elected as the leader of the "free world", it only suggests to me that a large scale war is potentially around the corner.

Just look at how the states teeter on the brink of civil war, as cities have been set alight and communities are at odds with one another. The American states are all but United. Likewise, our neighbours across a smaller pond in France face a similar issue. How long before we all face our last supper? Oh no - I went there - Christian extremists may behead me...

But no, that's alright...

How can it be right, that to make fun of, lets say, the Ginger, White man, the Heterosexual or Jesus is any less offensive than anything else? I see joke accounts about much of the Christian faith on social media and it's all taken in good spirit. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's not intended to be offensive it's simply poking fun.

Yet do that about Muhammad and risk being headless?!

It's time we distinguish what is intentionally offensive like calling someone a "disgusting White, honky bastard" and what is just nullifying our most obvious, inherent and cultural differences to all appreciate one another, and therefore I pose this question:

Where has the humility gone?

Despite this, don't kid yourself into thinking these cowardly little fuckwits beheading Teachers and shooting Priests are anything like the typical Muslim, or foreigner. Just like Western, White and Christian terrorist groups like the KKK have previously been, (and still are to this day), these individuals are evil, just like Hitler. They aren't men of faith. There are many good Muslims who've come from foreign lands to reap the benefits of the Western lifestyle; a freedom of speech, a democracy, a melting pot of culture and diversity, just like there are many that remain across the planet.

Yet, like it or loathe it, a lot of Europe and the West are predominantly White, Christian countries. This in itself does not matter. However, the traditions and cultures of said nations do. If you decide to make a new life in these places, then you must respect their way of life. Especially, if you can live your own lifestyle without significant adversity.

Evidently you have moved there for a reason, presumably to improve your lifestyle?

If you don't like it, fuck off to where you believe your culture is the norm - if that is somewhere where beheading people that disagree with you is 'normal', then I suspect you'll find it hard to find a place to call 'home'.

Just to further emphasise this point - would I, for example, turn up in North Africa or the Middle East demanding copious amounts of Brown Ale, scantily clad women and a bacon sandwich? No. That's not their way of life. If I moved there it must have appealed to me to do so, and therefore why would I demand its foundations be substantially changed?!

For saveloy dips' sake - I'll stick to where I'm happy in the Toon.

Joking aside - the golden rule is simple - respect one another and their cultures. 

And finally...

Maybe we should pause for a moment and consider just how diverse our societies really are, and how we should celebrate that, despite how they were built, they are now better as a result?

There is always room to continually improve, but let's do so through well-humoured discussion.

And so to bring this whole rant full circle, perhaps the greatest human mistake of all is that we, collectively - as a species, appear to react to the negative changes rather than proactively prevent the shit storm from happening in the first place.

Maybe it's time we re-think things like capitalism?

Open up and embrace one another and our environment, or we will simply remain like the other animals and will likely face our own extinction.

Image courtesy of Think Bilingual Austin

Ciao for now...😉

#20 - #BoycottGW5

 Keegan's Corner

Edition 20 and a similar drum being banged in this edition of The RoaM.

By now, those of you whom are regular readers will be all too aware of my stance on modern football, and my perception of the poisonous influence of TV within the game. So this time I'll keep it short and snappy.

There'll be no Geordie dialect as a running theme throughout this edition.

This time there needs to be absolute clarity. Our game has been... 

As fans of Club Africain in Tunisia, so aptly displayed in their friendly match with Paris Saint Germain.

Without banging on about club ownership and the conflict of interests at my beloved Newcastle United though, this time I need to delve into the persistent poisoning of the 'beautiful game'.

In recent days, the Premier League and their sponsors/broadcasting partners announced the introduction of a £14.95 Pay-Per-View service that would see fans paying for individual "non-televised" matches on top of their standard subscription service, as if that wasn't enough of a rip off in itself!

Why is it, that the cash injection from fans must come via those same very TV broadcasters that are f£$£$£$ them over and filter down?! I don't support Sky, nor do I support BT and certainly not them knob-ends at beIN. Yet, these are the companies who seemingly dictate our game. Not the fans, communities or their respective clubs?

Football is made up from those communities, from the ground up, like any good structure.

Why are fans of a club like my own (Newcastle United) still paying for season ticket subscriptions, and not being refunded, despite not being capable of attending fixtures due to COVID restrictions? Yet, they're expected to pay an average of £75 per month for the Sky subscription, plus an additional £14.95 for their PPV fixture?!

It's absolutely disgusting.

These clubs should be offering streams to their match-ticket-buyers privately. Reinvesting ticket sales into their own clubs who they wish to financially and physically support, not feeding off the eventual scraps dished down from FIFA, The FA or the Premier League. It's no wonder that the game is contracting with clubs going bust left, right and centre at a lower level. It's long down the road of becoming an elitist, self-serving entertainment business and not as we all knew it, a sport.

Just look at the clubs during COVID, furloughing Joe Blogg on his 20k a year contract for working shite hours at a weekend to sell the clubs' globalised tat. Where badges are no longer embroidered and instead mounted on a shit white patch and slapped on like some sort of generic boy-scout badge. It's alright though, at least we can sign Player X for £20million on a £50k/week contract.

Don't let the bougie bastards at the top dupe you into thinking your loyalty to your club is evidenced by a TV subscription. It's not. It's evidenced by those colours you wear, your loyalty to your home or your loyalty to a notion of how that club best represents you.

Irrespective of whether there is a U-Turn following the backlash of fans across social and mainstream media, it's time fans unite and lay down their colours to really ensure the governing bodies feel the wrath of the collective consumer.

I know - I f£$£$£$ hate that term too.

But that's how we're viewed and that's where we are at. From shit kick off times to increasing match ticket prices that are only now starting to be capped. From Joe Blogg being furloughed to Player X getting in his Ferrari. This is the leeches at the top sucking the lifeblood from football, and it's only the likes of you (the reader) and I (the writer) that are being robbed.

It's time to say "enough is enough" and fight back.

Make a start - #BoycottGW5

Ciao for now 👊

#19 - Gone Too VAR

Chris Heron · #19 - Gone Too VAR

Keegan's Corner

There's not too many topics of conversation nowadays like, or maybe av not been diggin' enough...

So aye, it looks like this time al be discussin' the current use of Video Assistant Referees (or VAR).

It's fairly shite - or it is at present anyways.

You thought that was it, didn't yi? Of course not, cause it wouldn't be The Ramblings of a Madman if a didn't add some waffle to tell you why...

So last weekend seen Manchester City - a side who've ironically and arguably benefitted the most from the very influences I'm aboot to discuss - tanked 5-2 on their own turf by an ambitious Leicester side that propelled itself to the Premier League title in the 2015/2016 season. That may seem a long shot ago, but the remnants of that season are still seeing Leicester be a canny formidable side, ran with cautious optimism and a seemingly solid business plan. The romance of that season is what has previously defined the 'Beautiful Game', and in particular the English game, as many for a long time have considered this to be the best league in the world.

It's aal aboot competitivity, that's the league's key selling point, or it was, and so the relevance of that very match must be pulled into question. "Why?" you may ask, and that's 'cause 3 weak penalties proved the difference in a tie that admittedly Leicester deserved to win.

As a watch back as a centre half, a look at those goals and a think of how the 'defender' was outsmarted, rather than clumsy or perhaps late. That in itself isn't an issue. However, the mentality of the attackin' side was for me, and they (Leicester) are not alone.

Sure, the game is played at a canny auld speed these days, on carpet like pitches with finely tuned athletes, but it wasn't the athleticism, technique or general ability that won them the decisions, it was the willingness to draw and make the most of challenges that 20 years ago would have probably been laughed off. VAR providing the opportunity for any contact to be deemed 'illegal', and subsequently the headlines of the game bein' dominated from the penalty spot rather than the two wonderful goals scored from Leicester City's open play.

A also watched some of the Brighton and Man United game last weekend, and recall one particular instance whereby Brighton entered the Man United penalty area and a witnessed 2 or 3 of their defenders simply stand a yard from the ball, arms tightly held aroond their backs unwilling to stick a foot out for fear of giving a penalty away to Brighton.

How does this allow them to defend? Tacklin' is as much part of the game as scoring is. 

Last season saw 92 penalties given across a 380 game season, an average of 1 in every 4.1 games. Already. this season there have been 20 penalties across 28 games, or a penalty every 1.4 games (according to transfermarkt.co.uk). So you know where to place your bets this weekend lads and lasses!

What's happened in my opinion (obviously!), is that the governin' bodies from within the game have simply bottled it and failed to address the issues of simulation and disrespect within the game. They have instead, turned their attentions to those whom will line their pockets the most and that, ladies and gentleman, is not the match-gannin' fan.

Is it any wonder that fans from all across Europe display messages of discontent towards UEFA?

VAR is ruining the competitivity of not just our league but all leagues. It stems from the game's sellin' of it's soul to the TV, and the need for more goals and more perceived "drama" to appease the armchair fan, and ultimately, subscribers.

To digress for just a moment, I for one disagree with the need for aal games to have been publicly televised and actually think it's a disgrace. How do multi-million pound businesses/football clubs not have the capability to provide 'ticket' buyers with a personalised stream for just them to view, (theoretically, of course)? And why do wu need 10 fixtures at 10 different times? It's aal so those who hold the golden ticket can financially benefit from those fans who are too loyal to not see their respective team play. Then, once the top level of money is creamed off and put into the pockets of those at FIFA, the FA or the Premier League the money is finally filtered down to the clubs that we (the supporters) wish to physically and financially support.

And so to return to VAR, is it any wonder that the Video Assistant Referee has become such a prominent feature? Maybe this is how the likes of the Premier League and beyond repay their wealthy investors? By allowing them to become even more influential and involved in the game - a bold statement, perhaps? But just to be clear - am not suggesting the TV make the refereeing decisions...

What I want to know though, is why players have consistently been allowed to surround the referees and not be disciplined, and have been further empowered by drawing an imaginary TV screen? Why they haven't been told to piss off whilst it is discussed with their captain or face reprimand by way of a bookin'? Even as little as why referees are seen to be walking to players and not the other way around?

Equally as ridiculous, why have we shifted from diving bein' completely unacceptable, to simulation being a key ingredient of the game? I've seen more simulation this time oot than on me last blast of Champ' Man'...

"Respect"? Give owa.

Then those behind a desk somewhere decide to alter the rules of the 'deliberate' handball, addin' multiple stipulations and definitions. If it wasn't for VAR (here's me balanced bit), then ad feel for the referees, a truly would, but thankfully VAR does provide the opportunity for review and possibly redemption - a notion that's also questioned by an interesting article from The Athletic.

Even as a Newcastle fan, a have to say that penalty from last week was an absolute farce. It's nigh on impossible to elevate yoursel' withoot using your arms to overcome the inertia from your standstill position and gain any significant height. Likewise, once the baal has passed and it's beyond yi, how can yi possibly move your arm away from something less than a metre away from yi that yi may not even have awareness of?

Steve Bruce was absolutely correct in his post match interview to caal this oot, especially in an emphatic way when his side were utterly dreadful, and this 'wrong' decision and his goalkeeper were the only two reasons we got owt.

Yet, it does make me wonder if the shoe was on the other foot, just how those in the media would have reacted, as our TV's become overpowered by biased and mediocre pro's, failed football managers and dinosaurs of the game. Maybe people didn't like seeing one of the supposedly 'big' clubs getting a taste of the medicine they will likely benefit from for the most part of the season, as the bottom 12 or so teams frequent such fallacies.

Aal of this withoot even touching upon the slowing down of the game and the moments of sheer brilliance and excitement that fizzle oot to a localised screen, as technology takes the overwhelming joy from each and every fan and each and every goal that is scored.

Goal line technology's a great thing. VAR could be also be a great thing, but it needs dialling back and reapplying for things that the referee hasn't and couldn't have seen.

Ultimately, it's not actually VAR that's the issue but it's the piss-poor devolvement of the rules. At the end of the day, if a wanted to watch and witness games that always finished high scoring ad piss off to watch the basketball. 🏀

Let's go Eagles! (not Palace...)

Ciao for now! 😉